U KNOW UR IN MY COLLEGE WHEN..

U know ur in my college when.....
1. Ur a 25 year old mature responsible adult but college authorities treat u like a kamsin kunwaari kanyaa who might run away wid d first guy she sets her eyes on..
2. U have video cameras in lecture halls n corridors to “catch” anyone interacting with d opposite sex…since talking with d other gender spoils d “pavitra maahaoul” of our sacred college!
3. Left side of d lecture hall is for gals n right side for guys.. again an efficient strategy to prevent male-female bonding.
4. When “my heart will go on” is d only English song u hear in hostel..n people give u bewildered looks when u say rock music..
5. Strict uniform code..white salwaar kameez wid dupatta worn to make a “V” in front for gals n “REVERSE PENGUIN” attire for guys (white pants n shirt with stark black necktie).
6. Being an OMDR pg ur not allowed to enter the digital OPG room coz of lack of funds for repair IF some day it gets damaged (like we’re 2 yr olds playing kabaddi kabaddi with d digital OPG!...so if patient wants digital OPG we refer them to other hospitals!)
7. There is a curfew after 7 pm n u have 6 armed gunmen encircling d girls hostel..n ur favourite time pass is twiddling thumbs/cracking knuckles/ counting d number of nails on ur wall..
8. Any attempt to jump outta window/ scale walls would lead u to khet khalihaans in d middle of no where ,coz u c like all private dental colleges this one too is on d outskirts of d city..if ur lucky u might have a drunk n lost truckdriver for company, if ur mad enuff to jump..
9. All outings are cancelled from 12th to 15th February to prevent anyone from celebrating valentine’s day…n all d roses are plucked away from d college garden by d management…..u’ve already guessed d reason right?
10. Ur promised a wholesome personality development package at d time of admission..so u have culturals.. where guys play d parts of gals just like in our good ol’ raamleelas.. n u if ur planning to sing (no duet obviously), then u have to get ur song approved by d “cultural committee” so bye bye “kajraare kajraare” …...hello “maiya yashodha”..
11. U have “monitors” monitoring each row in audi to discourage people from clapping..if ur caught whistling..ur suspended for indulging in “rowdism”..
12. When a person who doesn’t know dat it’s a college will never know dat IT IS A college coz students are always in clinics n lectures!
13. They cut off electricity in hostels from 9 am to 4 pm in summers so dat even if by any stroke of luck ur successful in bunking(extremely difficult).. u’ll roast to death anyway!
14. Library closes at 8 n is closed on Sundays..no group studying is allowed even b/w same sexes.
15. U have a flying squad conducting surprise raids in college canteen to “rannge haath pakado” if any girl n guy r sitting alone..thanx to d canteen manager doubling up as a spy.. if caught ur parents r instructed to take their kid away coz he/she is polluting other people’s minds by being a bad example!
16. No laptops allowed for undergrads coz they think d only thing u can watch on laptops is “ashleel” sites!
17. Girls doing PG in community dentistry are not allowed to go for camps! Safety reason. Also, Under NO circumstances can any student step outta college campus before 4 pm.
18. They still think oral surgery is for true blooded males…so no pg seats for gals in OS (I swear on my life its true!)
19. When everyone from office peon to clerk to accountant is a “sir”
20. Staple hostle food is aloo poori, aloo parantha, dum aloo. Aloo gobhi, aloo samosaa, aloo tikki. A solid plan to make u look like an aloo by d end of d course so dat u become so fat n ugly dat no one’s interested in u any way!
21. U cant differentiate whether it’s a Sunday or a week day coz u c every single person staff included at d only mall in d city…so same crowd minus d uniform.. (they say im lucky coz I came here when d mall had opened..previous batches used to c movies in halls which had giant coolers n they had to run n throw a hanky/key to book a seat..others who weren’t fast enuff saw d movie sitting on stairs!)
22. They have a yearly trip only for interns..wid boys tour conducted a week after d girls come back so that by no means n I repeat NEVER can d two buses meet accidently on d way!
23. Character assassination is d favorite pass time of everyone…if a girl makes another bf coz things didn’t work out wid d previous one, she is characterless while d second guy goes hoarse explaining “wo aisi nahin hai yaar, uska nature bahut accha hai”….
24. Ur not allowed to keep any bike/scooter in hostel..they don’t want d headache in case anyone dies in a road accident. Day scholars commute by college bus ofcourse separate for boys n gals!


I know u guys r dying to know which college I am in..but guys im not disclosing it to protect myself…as u can c things r already miserable..n dis really would b d last straw! So thank ur stars where ever u r ..anywhere …but here!


Signing off
Chulbuli chidiyaa in chains