hey ppl i've moved my blog to www.navz29.wordpress.com

happy new year!

since this blog is about my "adventures" as a PG student lemme start this new year with this quote "PG is like a public toilet, those who're out can't wait to get in..n those who're in can't wait to get out!"
dats exactly wats happening to me right now...so in another 3 months and 12 days i'll officially be in final year but 3 months seem like galaxies away! the reason i didnt post for so long was coz i was really really caught up wid work including one convention & a national conference.. nyways since it's the first week of 2010 so i thot dat now is the time to make my regular annual New Year Resolutions. Next week I can begin paving hell with them as usual. so herez my list..

1. I will beg borrow or steal an ipod to save my ear drums from d "saat samandar", "dhak dhak", n "tu cheez badi hai mast" kinda songs dat are blasted out by d tempo drivers here..
2. Refuse to be chronically blinded by irritation from ppl (& their stuff) who dont mean a thing to me which includes my dumbwitted no good loser of a junior and his saliva balls coated moustache.
3. stop replying "im fine how r u" to ppl on orkut/facebook who i spent years forgetting but ended up adding anyways..
4. stop using profanity everytime i swing my first leg outta dat warm bed to get ready for my f***all college!
5. send a love letter to uttar pradesh vidyut nigam for no power cuts since last 29 hours
6. stop using "rice watery stool with unstoppable diarrhoea" as an excuse everytime i want a last minute urgent leave from my HOD coz he suspects it's me when anyone does d "gas chamber" thingie frm 3 idiots..
7. stop making new year resolutions from next year.
8. stop blaming "grihas", "nakshatras" n "picchle janam ke paap" for not being able to go beyond the 5th line everytime i open my books.
9. shave my legs atleast once a year even though they've been clad in salwaar-kameez for d past one n half years wid just me to appreciate them in their full lustrous hairy glory.
10. will remember to ask a patient if shez married BEFORE asking if shez pregnant esp if ur located in one of d most conservative areas of western Uttar pradesh. Being angrily stared at by a 24 yr old gaaon ki gori who happened to have a fat abdomen...uhoh..not a great way to start a new year..
11. send a thanku mail to nokia and a hate mail to suraj distemper pvt ltd for d zillion dents on my room walls everytime i throw my nokia 3315 on 'em in frustration/blood boiling rage. my torchwala cell continues to be my connecting medium to d civilization.
12. stop using d excuse "my laptop crashed" everytime im not able to do my senior's boring paper work.. they say in india goddess saraswati sits on ur tongue...i learnt dis fact d hard way:(
13. calling d canteen wala chhotu by his real name n not "chhotu" more often..dat ways he'll stick to his promise of not touching his herpes labialis when he pours ur tea.
14. try not to roll my eyes everytime those auntyjees n unclejees try to talk ur mom into getting her "ageing" daughter married... u see coz their dollyz n preetiiz n happyz n buntyz got married when i was still in my BDS third year..
15. last n d most important being nice to people n NOT cutting them short when they rant about their scheming daughter-in-laws or their connections to the vidhayak of dat region or how much d tempowaalas charge these days, even though d reason why ur talking to them in d first place is coz they have sensitivity to hot and cold in their left lower third molar..

U KNOW UR IN MY COLLEGE WHEN..

U know ur in my college when.....
1. Ur a 25 year old mature responsible adult but college authorities treat u like a kamsin kunwaari kanyaa who might run away wid d first guy she sets her eyes on..
2. U have video cameras in lecture halls n corridors to “catch” anyone interacting with d opposite sex…since talking with d other gender spoils d “pavitra maahaoul” of our sacred college!
3. Left side of d lecture hall is for gals n right side for guys.. again an efficient strategy to prevent male-female bonding.
4. When “my heart will go on” is d only English song u hear in hostel..n people give u bewildered looks when u say rock music..
5. Strict uniform code..white salwaar kameez wid dupatta worn to make a “V” in front for gals n “REVERSE PENGUIN” attire for guys (white pants n shirt with stark black necktie).
6. Being an OMDR pg ur not allowed to enter the digital OPG room coz of lack of funds for repair IF some day it gets damaged (like we’re 2 yr olds playing kabaddi kabaddi with d digital OPG!...so if patient wants digital OPG we refer them to other hospitals!)
7. There is a curfew after 7 pm n u have 6 armed gunmen encircling d girls hostel..n ur favourite time pass is twiddling thumbs/cracking knuckles/ counting d number of nails on ur wall..
8. Any attempt to jump outta window/ scale walls would lead u to khet khalihaans in d middle of no where ,coz u c like all private dental colleges this one too is on d outskirts of d city..if ur lucky u might have a drunk n lost truckdriver for company, if ur mad enuff to jump..
9. All outings are cancelled from 12th to 15th February to prevent anyone from celebrating valentine’s day…n all d roses are plucked away from d college garden by d management…..u’ve already guessed d reason right?
10. Ur promised a wholesome personality development package at d time of admission..so u have culturals.. where guys play d parts of gals just like in our good ol’ raamleelas.. n u if ur planning to sing (no duet obviously), then u have to get ur song approved by d “cultural committee” so bye bye “kajraare kajraare” …...hello “maiya yashodha”..
11. U have “monitors” monitoring each row in audi to discourage people from clapping..if ur caught whistling..ur suspended for indulging in “rowdism”..
12. When a person who doesn’t know dat it’s a college will never know dat IT IS A college coz students are always in clinics n lectures!
13. They cut off electricity in hostels from 9 am to 4 pm in summers so dat even if by any stroke of luck ur successful in bunking(extremely difficult).. u’ll roast to death anyway!
14. Library closes at 8 n is closed on Sundays..no group studying is allowed even b/w same sexes.
15. U have a flying squad conducting surprise raids in college canteen to “rannge haath pakado” if any girl n guy r sitting alone..thanx to d canteen manager doubling up as a spy.. if caught ur parents r instructed to take their kid away coz he/she is polluting other people’s minds by being a bad example!
16. No laptops allowed for undergrads coz they think d only thing u can watch on laptops is “ashleel” sites!
17. Girls doing PG in community dentistry are not allowed to go for camps! Safety reason. Also, Under NO circumstances can any student step outta college campus before 4 pm.
18. They still think oral surgery is for true blooded males…so no pg seats for gals in OS (I swear on my life its true!)
19. When everyone from office peon to clerk to accountant is a “sir”
20. Staple hostle food is aloo poori, aloo parantha, dum aloo. Aloo gobhi, aloo samosaa, aloo tikki. A solid plan to make u look like an aloo by d end of d course so dat u become so fat n ugly dat no one’s interested in u any way!
21. U cant differentiate whether it’s a Sunday or a week day coz u c every single person staff included at d only mall in d city…so same crowd minus d uniform.. (they say im lucky coz I came here when d mall had opened..previous batches used to c movies in halls which had giant coolers n they had to run n throw a hanky/key to book a seat..others who weren’t fast enuff saw d movie sitting on stairs!)
22. They have a yearly trip only for interns..wid boys tour conducted a week after d girls come back so that by no means n I repeat NEVER can d two buses meet accidently on d way!
23. Character assassination is d favorite pass time of everyone…if a girl makes another bf coz things didn’t work out wid d previous one, she is characterless while d second guy goes hoarse explaining “wo aisi nahin hai yaar, uska nature bahut accha hai”….
24. Ur not allowed to keep any bike/scooter in hostel..they don’t want d headache in case anyone dies in a road accident. Day scholars commute by college bus ofcourse separate for boys n gals!


I know u guys r dying to know which college I am in..but guys im not disclosing it to protect myself…as u can c things r already miserable..n dis really would b d last straw! So thank ur stars where ever u r ..anywhere …but here!


Signing off
Chulbuli chidiyaa in chains

THE CLASS!!

okie..so its been more than three months since i last posted something....dis may sound cliched..but time does fly!! last time this year i was a disgruntled first yr fighting politics, scary seniors, perfectionist HOD, homesickness and tuberculosis(yeah ten months of ATT phew!)... some of the things im still battling (perfectionist HOD for eg)...but life is good coz A im finally a SENIOR! & B i finally am getting d hang of d subject &

C i got to take my first lecture ever!!

so what if i had a 100 pairs of eyes staring at me jotting down my every word, joke, cough or literally any sound coming outta my mouth....
I like to think dat I hv d typical indian skin color - wh but i swear to god standing in dat lecture hall addressing a class of overenthusiastic "hey im gonna b a doctor soon" third years.... my face looked more red than a himalayan monkey's ass..
n believe u me guys even Prabhudeva cud ve learnt a lesson or two frm me considering all d involuntary shaking movements my legs were doing..
n thank god for all d salivary secretogogues we have..they gave me hope.. coz i was pretty sure i had had a sudden onset sjogren's syndrome since dat was d only thing dat cudve explained d overwhelming dryness of mouth at dat time!
so standing there, being on d other side of d fence for d first time , talking bout "pigmented lesions of oral cavity" thinking bout the countless professors who’d given up on me.. dis is wat my first class looked like..
there were the first bench gunners who had hands dat looked more like penstands coz they had a pen in every color to highlight d imp stuff..
n then there were d attention cravers who'd raise their hands only to make me go back to the previous slide just to make sure that i knew they existed..
n the girls who made me pray their heads wouldn't fall off coz they were so good at nodding vigorously at everything i said.
not to forget d ones who impressed me wid their "go green save paper" funda coz they were sharing one notebook...only to be caught later playing knots n crosses..
n oyeah...d "rockstar backbenchers"..d ones who dont have ny paper or pen with an "im doing u a favor by attending ur class" attitude..to them i just wanna say..ppl ur as predictable as d bread jam my working mom used to pack in lunch box every day back in school..so try n be more convincing wid ur “im physically here” act even though mentally ur dreaming to be an overnight millionaire or being at Bahamas wid mallika sherawat or just praying dat d stupid lecturer wud stop or else u’d create history having world’s first ever stroke due to boredom…..
so while the first 15 mins were spent introducing myself, the topic & fighting the fatigue( thanx to the lecture prepration till 2 am for these thankless morons)… n finally letting it sink dat I AM THE LECTURER d one whose clothes & relationship status gets discussed bout……………. d one who gets idolized or hated……….. d one who can change lives n make ppl loathe or fall in love with their subject or wid them…..d one person who can leave an indelible mark on the minds of millions……
wow I WAS DAT PERSON !
d rest 45 minutes went off like a dream n I may have managed to get d “backbenchers” to grace us wid their mental presence as well…
so other than taking lectures n bullying my brand new juniors..i do have time for my blog even though its wriiten b/w slurping maggi made on a heater in my 6x10 hostel room, downloading ppts for my next seminar n watching public enemies in installments on my lappie….n dats why I say … “life is good!”
happy belated teachers day !

SOS

just when u have sculpted urself into d perfect "p.g " mould..understanding ur guide's mood swings n minutest of details of his behaviour patterns (like always getting a "no" if hez entertaining someone from other departments even though he approved dat thing 5 mins back!).. n just when u've got a hang of d mean games ur seniors play n u've started having dat nice reassuring feeling dat u might be able to battle ur way out of dis course....dats exactly when it hits u where it hurts d most..... d exams notice! u feel d ground shake beneath ur feet as u read d wretched notice..scared to ur wits u start blaming urself for dis catastrophe...ofcourse dis has happened coz u changed ur desktop wall paper from "radha-krishan" to "bon jovi"! n u start thinking of all d "wrong" things u might've done to deserve ur first birthday in "hellhole", coinciding wid ur first exam! fighting wid rickshaw walas for do -do rupaiyaa cud be one..dont think latching my senior's door while she was sleeping inside qualifies to be mean(as in c'mon she did come out after screaming hysterically for an hour..) ...hmmm..might hv something to do wid d irritating spoilt brat of a kid i slapped when his mom was not watching..naah i think shd've slapped him again....wat d heck.. cud be anything frm eating an egg on tuesday(sorry hanumaanji!) to turning d radio volume up when u know dat ur supermean neighbour has a viva...but.... d bottomline is dat ur DOOMED!determined not to throw up at d notice board u walk like a zombie to ur room n start planning d strategy to get up close n personal wid exams.
.a. time to hide ur contacts n take out ur big black thick rimmed glasses
b. fasts every monday n weekly visits to temple
c.ruffled unironed clothes in ur wardrobe
d. bribing d mess worker to sneak food into ur room
e spreading all ur basic books n doing d "inkie pinkie ponkie/akkad bakkad bambe bo" test to determine which topic to start from...
f preparing urself to welcome sleepless nights n stinging eyes as u try to interpret d books which ur sure are in english though strangely appear like greek!
wid dat taken care of u start dwelving deeper n deeper into stuff like anatomy n physiology of tmj, physiology of saliva secretion, muscles,nerves, pathways of pain, calcium metabolism , wound healing n coagulation(hate it!) etc etc...n dat my frenz is exactly wat i'm doing these days ...sacrificing my grey cells.. hoping against hope dat watever i'm cramming wringing my brains up left, right n centre...wud help me kill atleast one hr outta d 3 hrs long exam...... pray for me guys as i fight a herculean battle against 1 million macchars in my room.....a mind dat gets distracted every now n then... n a body dat dozes off every half an hour.....signing off- dreading d D day n waiting for a miracle!

DILEMMA

"Any path is only a path. There is no affront to yourself or others in dropping a path if that is what your heart tells you to do. But your decision to keep on a path or to leave it must be free of fear and ambition. I caution you: look at every path closely and deliberately. Try it as many times as you think necessary. Then ask yourself and yourself alone this one question. Does this path have a heart? All paths are the same. They lead nowhere. They are paths going through the brush or into the brush or under the brush of the Universe. The only question is: Does this path have a heart? If it does, then it is a good path. If it doesn’t, then it is of no use."

Carlos Castaneda
read it somewhere , fell in love wid it!
( if it takes u three readings to understand it, dont worry, ur as normal as i am!! )
herez hoping dat u find ur "path wid a heart" like i found mine! cheers!

on a not so serious note.. doesnt dis remind u of "gandhi ji ka jantar"/ gandhiji's talismaan.. which used be on d second page of all cbse textbooks back in school!

For those of u who think dat all I do is whine, whine & whine on dis blog…brace urselves up guys..coz therez more whining coming ur way!! But before I do dat…rem how every cloud has a silver lining… so we have our very own silver lining in pg as well…………….CONFERENCE……. ta daaa….Yup..IAOMR national conference..its d only time of d year when u get away wid anything n everything by just saying these 4 magical words..”preparing for conference sir!”… herez wat conference is all about

1. U r not alone
U can either go by air or by train..ppl usually prefer train coz its easy on pocket n most importantly coz it means more chuttis! N usually if it’s a national conference d entire train is full of pgs from dat branch…no wonder I kept hearing discussions on lichen planus n leukoplakias n ameloblastomas thru out my 20 hr journey from delhi to Nellore..

2. Brings out d creative genius in u
… all d practice dat u had in playing dumbcharades during ur internship will pay off now if ur not a native n have lingo probs!! So thankyou my bds batchmates for giving me movies like “dakoo haseena” n “chudail ka badla” n “sookhe naale mein behti laash” which I believe really polished my skills in expressing myself without speaking n helped me get an auto to our hotel “sundaari” in Nellore!

3. Saathi haath badaana
..if ur like dat frog in d well like me who used to think dat only 9 of us are specializing in dis branch…conference is a wake up call…coz there are thousands baby..so u need to start working if u wanna be d best among d rest! Don’t just stick to ur gang.. mingle wid ppl from other colleges coz dis is a golden opportunity to exchange seminars n L.Ds (yeah u read it right…wat cud be better than getting a ready made L.D ! though u still have to change it acc to d whims n fancies of ur guide..but anything dat means less work in p.g is good work!) oh n it does help if ur looking good..gives u dat extra confidence in approaching strangers..so do invest in a good shopping trip before going to a conference!

4. It’s d time to disco
N then comes d best part …. D banquet! Banquet means free unlimited booze free lipsmacking fingerlicking food n dancing non stop until d wee hours of morning! So don’t be scandalized when u c ur guides/professors doing a snake dance on shakira shakira!(I insist dat u take ur digi cam/video cam wid ya!) this cud be d only time of d year when they smile when they c u.. n treat u almost like a human! Plus u’ll c ppl sloshed n doing crazy stuff like getting on stage after getting inspired from dharmender in sholey n doing d basanti act…i forgot to mention d dress code… formals during presentations n anything ur comfortable in during banquet…. But they say it takes all kinda people to make this world… so u have babes dressed to kill! N u have some who’ll wear all d jewellery they bought in one year even if it means cervical spondylitis after d conference! N u have some who accidently turned up for d party on their way to d beach!(but d guys are not complaining!)

5. Meet d celebrities
Remember all those people whose books u used to cram in u.g ..u get to c most of them there(br.specific)..dats when u realize dat they r normal ppl like us n not superhumans..dats wat I felt when I saw dr anil govind rao ghom sitting right in front of me during a presentation…(had to curb d urge to take an autograph…didn’t want to scare him!) n u get to meet d whoz who of ur branch..good time to make contacts
..Before u know d 3 most amazing days of d whole yr are over in a jiffy…so all’s well dat ends well right?... wrong if ur a pg! so when ur back n still have d hangover of d gala time u had in d conference..dats when u remember dat u forgot to take d pictures of each n every poster presented in d conference as was told to u by ur guide….All my new frenz from Nellore…”zindagi rahi to phir milenge!”…. ……wondering if he’ll strangle me or cut me into tiny little pieces n feed ‘em to vultures….. may my soul rest in peace! Amen!

Signing off mowgli style –“alvida doston!”